i don't really like her. i'm flattered, but i don't really like her. i barely know her, and what i do know feels superficial. i'm not sure that that should be the case, but it is. i know that she likes to sing, i know where she works, i know that there's a girl in the united states who loves her, i know which candidate she supports in the united states presidential election, i know that she'd rather be alone than be with people who might bring her down, i know that her relationship with her parents isn't great, i know that she loves her sisters, i know that she's very independent, i know that she almost joined the military, i know that she's into anti-poverty activism, but not as much as she used to be... now that i say at all, it does seem superficial. it now seems at least somewhat logical rather than intuitive that i have that sense.

i think about her some, but i don't miss her. i don't suppose i have anything to miss. maybe she should be with that girl in the united states. maybe she should be alone. maybe there's someone else she should be with. i just know that she shouldn't be with me.

why did i trick myself into thinking that i liked her? was it just because i wanted to feel something?

it doesn't matter, because i don't.

i don't dislike her, but there are definitely things i don't like about her. it's probably petty to list them, but i think it's important that i be aware of them.

she uses terms that i find offensive, like "douchebag." it's not that i'm easily offended (i'm not) or that i have a problem with sexual slang (i don't). it bothers me as a feminist.

she seems too focussed on negativity, especially when talking about other people. there are so many better things to discuss that mutual acquantainces, and if we are to discuss them, i don't want it to all be negative.

she says she's becoming more conservative, and i'm, well, a communist. i can't see my views, my values changing that drastically. they never have. i've been a communist since i knew what the word meant, when i was about seven years old. i don't want to spend much of my time with people whose values are so opposite to mine - not just different, but opposed.